I have issues…
I have issues with the cure autism movement. For the record, I do not doubt these organizations’ good intentions. I believe with my whole heart that they are trying to help. I am grateful to all the people who work hard on behalf of autistic families and children. I believe in the value of medical research. That said,
Imagine if you will, how it must feel to be autistic
and to be made to feel like
there is something wrong with you?
That you need to be cured
of an essential part of who you are?
I can remember the shock when my daughter Kylie attended her first walk for autism and as she listened to the speakers say they wanted to cure autism. She was shocked and hurt and came home in a” tizzy” trying to understand why anyone would want to cure autism? You see, she understands she is different than most people but she does not believe for a moment that just because she is different she needs to be cured of that difference. You see she knows that God has given her special abilities and insights that are a blessing to others. She knows that she does not have autism on accident. God made her for a purpose and that purpose includes having autism.
As a mother of a child (now a 24-year-old adult) with autism, it is hard to accept that people actually think that the world would be a better place without autism in it. You see, I see the benefits of having a daughter with autism every single day. I see how valuable her observations are and that how she thinks is a tremendous blessing to this world. She is an asset to this world we live in! We need her!
What would the world be like
if everyone in it
was the same?
I believe that each human life has value. Sometimes, I hear well-meaning people say that because children and adults with autism suffer it would be better if autism did not exist. But I say…who in this world has not suffered? Just because someone has a difficult way does not diminish their value at all. Just because a person can’t speak or read or whatever a person’s limitations are, does not make them unimportant or less valuable. I believe that these individuals may have the most to teach us…if we will just listen.
Many life circumstances have helped me grow as a Christian. But without a doubt, the one that stands out and allowed me to grow the most in Christ-like character has been being Kylie’s mom. The diagnosis twenty-four years ago has turned out to be one of the hardest, yet most rewarding experiences to ever happen to me and my family. It has caused us to reevaluate truth and to realize that Christ’s power is made perfect in our own weakness. These are hard lessons to learn.
Because of autism,
I am a better person.
There is a movement growing among autistic adults that I am so pleased to hear and see. Adults with autism are “fighting back” with the truth about autism. Now when you go to an autism walk you will probably see a small but growing contingent of autistic adults who will protest the idea that autism needs to be cured. It is not a perfect movement 🙂 I am still happy to see that people are becoming aware that the individuals who understand autism the best are the ones who live with it.
If you have a desire to learn more about autism let me recommend several of Temple Grandin’s books and my own book about autism … Chosen
YOUR TURN…
What is your opinion of this “Hot Topic”?
In closing, I would like to leave you with one of my favorite Temple Grandin Quotes…
Blessings,
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*This message has been Kylie approved 🙂
Oh, Janelle, you have truly touched my heart today, especially on this Ash Wednesday when we our thoughts are on our mortality and humanity. With humanity comes suffering. So many people want to avoid suffering, but suffering is how we go to Our Lord. “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor 12:9
St. Therese of Lisieux has a well-known quote that I love as it refers to all the beautiful people in the world. Suffering often makes us who we are, and it certainly gives us the opportunity to lean on Him!
“I had wondered for a long time why God had preferences and why all souls did not receive an equal amount of grace […] Jesus saw fit to enlighten me about this mystery. He set the book of nature before me and I saw that all the flowers He has created are lovely. The splendor of the rose and whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of its scent nor the daisy of its simple charm. I realized that if every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness and there would be no wild flowers to make the meadows gay.
It is just the same in the world of souls — which is the garden of Jesus. He has created the great saints who are like the lilies and the roses, but He has also created much lesser saints and they must be content to be the daisies or the violets which rejoice His eyes whenever He glances down. Perfection consists in doing His will, in being that which He wants us to be.
I also understood that God’s love shows itself just as well in the simplest soul which puts up no resistance to His grace as it does in the loftiest soul. Indeed, as it is love’s nature to humble itself, if all souls were like those of the holy doctors who have illumined the Church with the light of their doctrine, it seems that God would not have stooped low enough by entering their hearts. But God has created the baby who knows nothing and can utter only feeble cries. He has created the poor savage with no guide but natural law, and it is to their hearts that He deigns to stoop. They are His wild flowers whose homeliness delights Him. By stooping down to them, He manifests His infinite grandeur. The sun shines equally both on cedars and on every tiny flower. In just the same way God looks after every soul as if it had no equal. All is planned for the good of every soul, exactly as the seasons are so arranged that the humblest daisy blossoms at the appointed time. — St. Thérèse of Lisieux, The Story of a Soul
Oh Barbara…thank you for taking the time to post this most loveliest of responses! I am moved to tears at the beauty of the words and am in wholehearted agreement! Thank you for taking the time to encourage this mama!
Hi,
Although I agree with embracing our trials as the sovereign hand of the Lord. And, yes I agree His strength is made perfect in our weakness. I can’t agree that what you’re saying is the entire solution or position that all should take. Both my 19 yo son and myself have been entrusted to steward major trials.We too have grown tremendously in our faith and understanding of the Lord’s grace. However, we agree with Joni Earackson Tada when she says, ” God allows that which He hates to accomplish that which He loves.” (suffering) My son has autism as well and he’s considered non-verbal. He communicates using a letter-board. As he says, he is intellectually intact. He will graduate high school with honors this Spring and attend university in the Fall. Absolutely everything he does is a struggle. That is everything except his trust in and closeness to the Lord. Even though he is content with what the Lord has called him to, he doesn’t want this for anyone else. He believes the increasiing number of individuals being diagnosed aren’t simply better, earlier diagnoses. He believes that there is something negative contributing to this increase. He also believes their may be different sub-groups of autism. He knows there are many individuals on the spectrum who are comfortable with their diagnosis and respective lives. He also believes that acceptance and compassion are always in order, as well as ‘owning’ the trials and blessings the Lord entrusts His children with in this life. My son is rather intelligent, incredibly aware of people’s body language, has excellent theory of mind abilities, empathetic, compassionate, and has a hysterical sense of humor which are only known and accessible (to others) via him spelling each word out on a laminated letter-board. His motor impairments, due to his autism, prevent him from: having independence, driving, having a conversation with someone without his mom helping, ever having a family, etc. He is not happy with these challenges. I have a serious degenerative disease and suffer physically. He too suffers physically at times due to gi issues which we address through diet, essential oils and much prayer. That being said, I’m in no position to know what he suffers on a daily basis. He struggles with severe anxiety, gut issues, being ostracized, being left out, unable to be independent, driven by impulsivity/ocd behaviors etc. Many bio-medical interventions, special diet, hbot and supplements have brought relief and even alleviated several symptoms. We pray for cures for this. My son has suffered both emotionally and physically due to his autism. He understands that the Lord is using his suffering for his growth, his calling and for His own glory. He knows that his sin’s are forgiven, he is redeemed and it is well with his soul. However, he feels trapped inside because of his autism. He would rather not have autism. He thinks there’s a problem with having autism. How we process, deal with, and respond to autism as Christians is clear. And for the record, my son is an outstanding young man. We stand amazed at all he has achieved despite his outward impairments. We are beyond blessed by his complete trust in the Lord and his desire to glorify His savior! He has worked extremely hard to graduate, serve at Joni and Friends and as the first board member, who has autism, to serve on our local Autism Society. He is mature beyond his years and a friend to all. I suppose this post struck a chord with me, thus the lengthy response. I think your daughter has the right to be somewhat hurt /offended by the idea that she needs to be cured. After all, she’s made in God’s image and likeness. But, there are many families and individuals, like my son, who feel very differently. Will God use hardships for our growth and His glory? Yes! Should we not hear the voices of those who are the ones suffering and hope and pray for a cure not just for themselves? I suppose we respectfully communicate with each other and aim to respect each other’s differing opinions. May the Lord bless your family as you seek His kingdom first!
Hi Kathy,
First of all I thank you for taking the time to comment on our post! I value and appreciate all you said and I agree with you. My daughter is verbal although she was not verbal until age 6. She is not independent and will never be. There seems to be a fine line with contentment and wanting to be the very best one can be. There is a natural tension between the two and should be. Ultimately, this post was about embracing the good in autism. There is bad, there is great suffering…I know as an autism mom you know first hand and I do not mean to diminish that in any way but rather to say that God’s plan and sovereignty are perfect…absolutely perfect. We also want to say that autism has some VERY GOOD aspects which your son is displaying so beautifully. You must be so very proud of your son…he is offering himself up in service of the Lord!
I love this SO MUCH!!! My oldest is autistic (he’s 10 years old now) and while I want to make things as easy for him as possible, I don’t want to CHANGE him or “cure” him. He’s a sweet, gentle soul with an infectious laugh and a pure spirit. I can’t wait to see what he becomes as an adult- even if he will always be dependent on us and his younger brothers. Thank you for having the courage to write this. Oh, and I’m totally stealing those quotes from Temple Grandin! 🙂
Hi Nicole…I am so pleased you were encouraged by this post! Our children are treasures each and every one of them! I Please keep me posted on your son’s progress and I can’t wait to see all that God has planed for your him…I know it will be something so wonderful!!
I resonate with your thoughts! My last two children have Down syndrome. One may even be on the autistic spectrum. Do I want my children to be “fixed?” No. We will deal with the health issues the best we can. Their personalities are shaped somewhat by their challenges. God had a purpose for each person and how He created them.
Yes, there is a tight rope walk when talking about curing and preventing these conditions. For now, the main way to prevent Down syndrome seems to be abortion. At least 90% of babies prenatally diagnosed with Down syndrome are aborted. That needs to stop!
I have read discussions about curing the way God made our children. It does get heated. One mom wondered how we could be okay that our children pay the price for all the grace and mercy we learn from having them in our family? It’s an interesting road to be on and it’s not easy.
We all need to accept all people as created in the image of God. Show respect to all.
Thank you for stirring the pot!
I will share this with my sister. She has autism in her family.
Thank you for your encouraging words…they mean a great deal! God’s creation is always lovely if we take the time to seek it. On another note, before I had children I was an early intervention teacher for children with Down Syndrome so your daily journey is close to my heart!
Amazing post. Thanks 😀
You are very WELCOME!
Thank you for speaking the truth! You don’t hear this message enough!
I’m so thankful for your comment, Shari!